There’s an interesting trend among some young men on social media called pheromone maxing. The idea is that by avoiding showers, deodorant, and clean clothes, a man can increase his natural scent and become more attractive to women.
Apparently, the secret to irresistible masculinity is smelling like a gym bag that’s been forgotten in the trunk of a car.
It’s a curious theory, especially since there’s no convincing scientific evidence that accumulated body odor makes men more attractive.
But the trend points to something more interesting than questionable hygiene: the lengths some people will go to in pursuit of someone else’s definition of attractiveness.
I’ve noticed that a great deal of advice directed at young men focuses on how to appear more masculine. Develop a deeper voice. Build bigger muscles. Adopt a dominant posture. Project confidence. Become an alpha male. And now, apparently, stop bathing.
The underlying message is that masculinity is something you can manufacture by following the right instructions.
It reminds me of houses that have been renovated entirely for curb appeal. A fresh coat of paint, attractive landscaping, and a handsome new front door can make a house look spectacular from the street. But none of those improvements tells you whether the plumbing works, the wiring is safe, or the foundation is sound.
Looking like a good house isn’t the same thing as being one.
And looking like somebody else’s idea of a man isn’t the same thing as becoming a person worth knowing.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive. Most of us enjoy being appreciated, admired, and loved. But there’s a contradiction in trying to become more attractive to women without taking much interest in what women actually think, feel, or want.
Perhaps instead of taking advice from influencers who claim to know what women find irresistible, more young men could try something revolutionary:
Ask women. Listen to their answers. Treat them as individuals rather than an audience to be impressed. And recognize that women, like men, don’t all want the same things.
Authenticity isn’t about refusing to improve ourselves. A house needs maintenance, and so do we. There’s nothing wrong with strengthening weak spots, replacing what no longer works, or making ourselves more comfortable in our own skin.
But worthwhile renovation begins with understanding what you’re working with, not trying to turn every house into the same fashionable model.
The same is true of masculinity.
You don’t have to become louder, tougher, more dominant, or more aggressively masculine to be worthy of affection. Kindness, curiosity, humor, reliability, and the ability to listen aren’t signs of inadequate manhood. They’re qualities that make someone good company.
The goal isn’t to create a more convincing facade. It’s to become someone who’s genuinely at home with himself—and makes room for others to feel at home, too.
And for heaven’s sake, guys, wash yourselves. Even the most authentic house benefits from a little soap and water.
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