The Renovating Reverend

The world is an incredible place. It diminishes and grows minute by minute, as some people pass from this life and others arrive as newborns. But if we happen to experience the passing of many people in a short period of time, be they loved ones or acquaintances, we’re likely to feel the loss very heavily and ask what we’re going to do without their love, inspiration, or generally exemplary way of living. Oddly enough, an answer to this came to me in a memory that still makes me smile.

A few years ago, Steve and I attended a family picnic. I found it odd that no one was stepping up to get the charcoal lit so that hot dogs and hamburgers could be cooked. I’d certainly never cooked for a large group of people before. Well, as Steve and I got a couple of grills going, since nobody else was, I told him that being responsible for the grilling never entered my mind because “the old guys” always did it. Before I could say it myself, he observed with a smile, “Now you’re one of the old guys.” As humorous as this realization was, it caused me to ponder things like the different roles we can find ourselves in as we age, changing expectations, and what sort of “old guy” I wanted to be.

I guess I’m still coming to grips with the whole growing older and growing up thing. While I sometimes feel that I don’t want to grow up, the truth seems to be that we are all repeatedly called to reach different levels or different types of maturity (responsibility, leadership, nurture) throughout our lives. So if the question is, “What do I do when I lose someone who has been a support or great inspiration to me?”, one answer may be to pay it forward, to honor that person by being supportive of, or inspiring to, others—-maybe not in the same exact way that person was, but in a way that’s authentic for me and my situation in life. In other words, though it may not feel like a familiar or comfortable position to be in, perhaps it’s time to light the charcoal and cook the food. Those who have passed on would undoubtedly be proud.